Validation Comes in Many Forms

But there's one that many of us need to pay more attention to

A mere four days ago, I wrote this:

Over the years, teachers and “experts” drilled into me that to be a writer, you must have the rules of English burned into your brain, which I most certainly do not. So, if someone compliments my writing, it’s likely to invoke strong feelings of insecurity.

It was a short post, but relevant to some conversations I’d had recently with two different friends. At the root of the piece was the undeniable presence of impostor syndrome. Then, a day later, I came face to face with it.

I follow more than a few writers on here. Some novelists, some not, but every one of them is a pleasure to read. One such writer is Linda Caroll. We’ve had a few comment exchanges before, and aside from enjoying (and learning from) her writing, our interactions indicate she’s a good person, too. One exchange went like this:

Followed by this:

Talk to any writer, and the vast majority of them will have that same reaction. We want people to read our work, we NEED people to read our work, but the second someone tells us that’s what they’re going to do, our stomachs do that thing.

I promptly forgot about it. That’s a big, fat lie. The thought of a total stranger, and a writer with more than 20,000 Substack subscribers, reading one of my books was terrifying. It was on my mind, or in the back of my mind, constantly. Three days later, I posted my quote about writing insecurity. The day after that, Linda tagged me in a post.

Oh, shit.

I’ll be honest, it took me a second to click on the link. The headline was good, “A really good book, a Substack tip, and a wish,” but the book of which she spoke could not have been mine. No way.

A really good book, a Substack tip, and a wish

The tagline for my website is “Write. Create. Snack,” but the last line of my bio reads, “Andrew sometimes lets his love of attention override common sense,” so I clicked through, and am I ever glad I did.

Linda hadn’t finished the book yet, and right out of the gate said:

I’m reading the book Known Order Girls, by Andrew Butters and the first thing I want to say is he’s selling it way too cheap and the second thing is just trust me and go buy it.

She goes on to mention that, of all the indie books she found through Substack, she will only recommend two: Trailer Park Rules by Michelle Teheux (you can find her on Substack here: Untrickled by Michelle Teheux, and more about her in a second), and Known Order Girls.

In addition, she made this comment in response to someone considering buying it:

“I only have two chapters left. Can’t stop reading this one. When I’m done, maybe I can get more than 5 hours of sleep again lol.”

And while she wasn’t a fan of the cover (I really like it, and it was well-received elsewhere, so she and I are going to have to agree to disagree), she wrote this in another comment:

“With Andrew’s book, it’s the black/red I’m not crazy about but the writing is just killer.”

I added the emphasis in that last quote because it’s going to prop me up for a long time. It also had the fortunate effect of prompting me to reevaluate, ensuring that everything I put out from now on is the same quality or better. That’s not good news for the release of my upcoming trilogy, The ‘No’ Conspiracies (No Fixed Address, No Known Cure, No End in Sight), since I wrote them before Known Order Girls, and I’m certain my writing has improved since then. That said, if you become a paid subscriber—even if it’s for a single month—you’ll get those three ebooks as a thank you. They’re not done done but they’re close enough that there shouldn’t be any parts that make you want to stop reading.

Do you want a glimpse into what goes on in my head? Linda couldn’t stop reading, and three days ago, she had only two chapters left. As of this writing, I don’t know what she thought of the ending, and it’s absolutely killing me. Despite a friend of mine (and fantastic writer in his own right, Gordon Bonnet) saying that the ending made him cry and that KOG is one of the best books he’s ever read (his words, not mine), despite a book reviewer with over 45,000 followers on Facebook saying it made their “Top 3 fiction books list of 2025”, and despite dozens of other positive reviews and feedback from friends, family, and strangers, there’s no way the ending held up. My anxious, insecure brain is having none of it.

Why? WHY? WHYYYYYYYYY?!

Being an indie writer is tough. Simply getting someone, anyone, to notice your book is an extreme uphill climb. The average number of copies a self-published book sells in its lifetime is 250. I’ve given away that many copies of KOG, but haven’t sold that many yet. My point being: the sample size is small, and I’m always wondering if it will stand up to broader scrutiny.

This is where Michelle Teheux comes back into the picture. A day after being mentioned alongside me in Linda’s post, she posted an article echoing the comments made by Linda, but really focusing on the importance of indie writers producing quality work, because, as she says, readers are the gatekeepers when it comes to indie writing, and “Once trust is broken, it’s probably impossible to earn it back.”

Why Quality Matters More Than Ever for Indie Books

My fear that a rogue typo will put someone off my writing forever is real. Hell, I’ve seen one-star reviews because the reader was American and the writer had the nerve to publish a book in *gasp* British English. HOW DARE THEY?! Exceptional writers like James Fell and Lisa Lee Curtis are often besieged by puritans who clutch their pearls over the use of expletives. I can’t fathom how many negative reviews this has spawned, which is why, at the beginning of my book, Near Death by a Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir of Misfortune, I have a disclaimer and address my word choices in the second paragraph of the introduction.

Disclaimer at the beginning of Near Death by a Thousand Cuts.

The first two paragraphs of the Introduction of Near Death by a Thousand Cuts

Michelle’s post does a good job of explaining that, as an indie writer, you must keep quality in mind at all times. It’s why I’m going to pick through my upcoming trilogy with a fine-toothed comb and have trusted beta readers tell me what they think. I have already put a tonne of work into these books, but after this recent attention, I’m going to make damn well sure they shine.

Another thing Michelle highlights is something that more indie writers need to understand: we are not adversaries in all this. Indie writers need to stick together and support each other. A rising tide lifts all ships (which is why I subscribed to her Substack, and after Christmas, I’ll be picking up a copy of her book).

I had therapy yesterday. I was recounting all of this to my therapist. I mentioned the accolades and my discomfort with them. I mentioned that I had sold more copies of Known Order Girls in the last three days than in the previous eight months combined. We talked about defining success. We spoke of validation, particularly external validation. Then, she asked me a question that forced me to change my perspective. Instead of looking to others for measures of success or validation, she wanted to know why I thought KOG was a success.

I had reasons, and more than a few, why I thought it was, and none of them had to do with cracking the top 30 in an Amazon category on Wednesday (the day after Linda’s article went live) for the time it takes to steep a proper cup of tea (though, admittedly, that was pretty cool).

If you live the perfect life, have the ideal education, all the time, and have none of the worries, writing a book is hard. For some, even under ideal circumstances, it’s nigh impossible, and yet, I did it. I did it with (at the time undiagnosed) ADHD, chronic insomnia and migraines, a full-time 40+ hour a week job, a family, a social life, and a history of concussions that will make you wonder how I’m still ambulatory, let alone able to cobble together 90,000 words and maintain a consistent plot.

And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I could go on, but publicly patting myself on the back isn’t my style. My therapist still encouraged me to pat myself on the back, though. She said, “We always highlight the mistakes we make. We’ll shame ourselves for them. What we don’t do enough of is acknowledging when we do a good thing. Self-validation is important.”

Over the next two weeks, school is out. There are no available substitute teaching jobs. Hiring managers in the corporate world are all on vacation, so there won’t be any movement on the corporate job front. My homework from my therapist: practice more self-validation and start retraining my brain to notice the things I do well.

That, and picking through The ‘No’ Conspiracies with a fine-toothed comb.

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KNOWN ORDER GIRLS

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